Deona Perlas has attended 15 weddings, bachelorette parties, and bridal showers over the past year.
Deona Perlas
Deona Perlas, 27, has attended 15 wedding events over the past year.
She’s learned how to afford this lifestyle on a salary of $50,000 per year.
She says there are plenty of ways to save money on hotels, gifts, dresses, and makeup.
Deona Perlas loves weddings. It’s why she’s attended 15 wedding events across the country over roughly the past year, including seven weddings, four bachelorette parties, and four bridal showers.
She has even more on the books for 2023.
But the 27-year-old is faced with a significant financial challenge: Affording all the associated travel, accommodations, clothes, and gifts on a salary of $50,000.
Earlier this year, she says she realized she was “financially and physically burnt out.”
“I just kept spending money on the same things over and over again,” she told Insider.
Perlas is one of many Americans with refrigerators covered in wedding invitations. After the pandemic forced many couples to forego tying the knot, there’s been a wedding boom in 2022 as pandemic restrictions have eased. A record-high 2.6 million weddings will take place in the US this year, wedding planning platform The Knot estimated back in January.
While many attendants have been happy to celebrate, the deluge of weddings can take its toll on Americans’ finances. A 2019 The Knot study found that guests spend an average of $776 per wedding on travel, accommodations, gifts, and attire, a number that has likely risen due to inflation. Members of the wedding party typically spend even more, however, and the figure doesn’t include expenses for bachelor or bachelorette parties, as well as wedding showers.
As the year comes to a close, Perlas says she’s not only learned plenty about save money throughout the wedding process, but even how to say “no,” on occasion.
Deona Perlas after catching a bouquet toss at a wedding.
Deona Perlas
It’s possible to save on hotels, gifts, dresses, and makeup
Perlas says roughly “90 percent” of her wedding events have required travel, but she has a “saving grace” that gives her a major leg up when budgeting. She lives in Phoenix but works as a flight attendant, which allows her to “fly for free” on standby.
But this perk could actually be costing her more in the long run, she says. She sometimes feels she has “no excuse” not to attend every wedding, bachelorette party, and shower she’s invited to. The more of these events she attends, the more the non-flight expenses add up, which has forced her to figure out ways to cut costs.
Many couples provide a main hotel or two for guests, but Perlas says she doesn’t hesitate to “get crafty” and look elsewhere for the cheapest option, whether it be an AirBnB, staying at a friends’ place in the area, or worst case, paying for a hotel room with two or three other people.
She’s also taken on a few side hustles — consulting and selling her crafts — which she says have brought in an extra $10,000 in income this year and been a big help as she navigates her expenses.
She also uses two “COVID hobbies” she picked up — hand embroidery and photography — to save money on wedding gifts and add a personal touch at the same time. She’s gifted sweaters she stitched with “fun designs,” as well as books with photos from the wedding weekend.
When she does buy a gift off the registry, she says she tries to do so early, when items within her budget are still available. If all the items are picked over, or nothing fits her budget, she says she’s grown more comfortable just giving cash. And if money is especially tight, she’ll send a gift weeks to months after the wedding, or whenever she’s “saved up again.”
Perlas says she often re-wears dresses to weddings, but she’s typically been “at the mercy of what the bride chooses” when she’s in the wedding party. Recently, she was about to purchase a $200 bridesmaid’s dress when a friend told her to look for it on Poshmark, where some bridesmaids resell their dresses. Perlas says she found the same dress for only $70.
Perlas says bridesmaids are often presented the option to pay roughly “$80 to $90” to have their hair and makeup done the day of the wedding, but she says she “never signs up for it.”
“I had to learn how to do my own makeup on YouTube and just do it myself,” she said.
When she’s involved in planning bachelorette parties, she said she plans months ahead of time to get the best deals on the tinsel backdrop, the matching cowboy hats, the disco ball cups and all the other details that “really add up.”
Deona Perlas’s refrigerator, which is covered with wedding invitations.
Deona Perlas
“I don’t need to go to the shower, bachelorette, and your wedding”
For the first half of 2022, Perlas says her mindset was, “I’m going to go to every single one of these.” But halfway through this year, she says she realized she was beginning to feel burnt out.
She was set to attend weddings in New York and Oregon over back-to-back weekends when she decided she needed a break and decided to skip both of them — the only two weddings she’s missed this year. She says both couples were understanding, but that declining invitations can still be very uncomfortable for her.
On the one hand, she says, the 2022 wedding boom has created packed calendars and financial hurdles for people like herself. On the other hand, however, she says couples seem to be aware that “everyone has a lot of commitments,” making them perhaps more understanding than they otherwise would be.
When she does decline an invitation, Perlas says she makes a point of attending at least one wedding event.
“I don’t need to go to the shower, bachelorette, and your wedding,” she said. “I just don’t, especially if we don’t live in the same state.”
When declining a wedding invitation, she recommends reaching out directly to the couple and letting them know well in advance if possible.
Looking ahead, Perlas says she will probably look back at 2022 as her most jam-packed wedding year, but 2023 is looking to be quite busy as well. But she says she’s learned how to budget, save money, and when it gets to be overwhelming, prioritize which weddings she will attend over others.
“I love weddings, and I’ve wanted to go to every single one,” she said. “But it’s a commitment, and I know I have to plan accordingly if I’m going to go to all of them.”