As the warrior-poet Pusha T once wrote, if you know, you know. Well, folks, I happen to know that if a Southwest flight lands at Burbank Airport, they deplane from both the front and back of the aircraft. Armed with this knowledge, I formulated a strategy prior to boarding. The computer, which can be a…
Monthly Archives: July 2022
A QUICK NOTE BEFORE WE BEGIN. Exciting news! You can now read Situation Normal in the new Substack app for iPhone.📱 Read Situation Normal in the new Substack app Now available for iOS Get the app With the app, you’ll have a dedicated Inbox for my Substack and any others you subscribe to. New posts…
Good news! You can now read Situation Normal in the new Substack app for iPhone! Read Situation Normal in the new Substack app Now available for iOS Get the app But don’t worry, if you’re not an app person. Situation Normal will always be available via email and on the Web. Yay choices! Personally, I…
Personally, I’ve always felt Casey Jones, who allegedly drove that train while high on cocaine, was railroaded. Was there trouble ahead? Sure. Trouble behind? You bet. And yes, Mr. Jones was warned about his speed. But for fuck’s sake, the National Transportation Safety Board didn’t even conduct a formal investigation into Mr. Jones! Thankfully, I…
Last Sunday, I read a column in the NY Times with the provocative title We Aren’t Just Watching the Decline of the Oscars. We’re Watching the End of the Movies. As a film buff and low-key contrarian, I knew what I had to do. We skipped the Oscars and went to our local multiplex to…
Hi! I’ve got another funny story for you, but before we begin I need to tell you about my pal Geoffrey Golden’s amazing newsletter, Adventure Snack. Geoffrey is a hilarious interactive game designer, and his Adventure Snack newsletter is a shorter version of the classic “Choose Your Own Adventure” stories. I’m a big fan of…
Photo by Tyler Nix on Unsplash In his unpublished memoir, Dicking Around, the author and hardcore drug addict Philip K. Dick credited his literary output, in part, to benzodiazepine, more commonly known by its street name, benzos. “The best fiction comes from a chemical reaction inside the synapses of a haywire mind,” Dick wrote. “If…
Photo by Nguyen Dang Hoang Nhu on Unsplash Everyday I’m hustlin’, just like Rick Ross. But one recent overcast Monday morning I was hustlin’ so hard I arrived at the Post Office ten minutes before it opened. My immediate instinct was to kill time. But how? Those ten minutes weren’t going to kill themselves, not…
The caller ID on my phone told me someone named Scam Likely was calling. Scam Likely calls twice a day, sometimes more. But we haven’t spoken in years due to a falling out over a scheming Nigerian Prince. I should ignore Scam Likely, but I miss that fraudulent fucker. “Hello,” I said. “Hello, my name…
I have Covid. I’ll be OK, but as you can imagine Covid puts a damper on writing Situation Normal. For one thing, I’m quarantining, which limits my interactions with the oddballs, scammers, kind strangers, and dip-shits I rely on for inspiration. Another thing, I feel like crap, and it’s difficult to write when you feel…